Zoom

Story Notes:  This story didn't flow right without naming one of the people involved.  So I made up a name.

The night is young. The alcohol is flowing freely. The music is blasting. The beer pong table is occupied, and has been claimed for the next five games. People are standing around drinking and maybe dancing when someone suggests playing a drinking game.

“Kings?”

“No, I don’t know where my cards are.”

“Landmines?”

“There aren't any cans.”

"Flip cup?"

"We don't have a free table."

“Fuck the Dealer?”

“That needs cards, too.”

“Dr. Killabrew?”

“I’m kinda full.”

"Quarters?"

"Where?"

“Let’s play Zoom!”

“Yeah, we haven’t played that in a while.”

“I’ve never played, how does it work?”

"Nate?"

“Alright,” Nate makes sure everyone is paying attention, then jumps into his explanation of the rules. “The name of the game is ‘Zoom, Schwartz, Pafigliano, and Beederman’. Playing this game is like passing an invisible ball around the circle. There are four things you can say when you have the ball: Zoom, Schwartz, Pafigliano, and Beederman. Zoom passes it to the person you’re looking at. Schwartz returns it to the person who sent it to you. Pafigliano passes it right and Beederman passes it left.

There are three rules. Rule number one: you can’t Zoom a zoomer, but you can Schwartz a schwartzer. If you Zoom a zoomer, you have to drink. Rule number two: you can’t say the name of the game. So if I say ‘Zoom’, he says Schwartz, and I say Pafigliano, you can’t say Beederman or you have to drink. Rule number three is the rule of threes. You cannot say anything three times, either as a group or individually, or you have to drink.

When someone messes up, the person to their left restarts the game. Is there anything left in the keg?”

“I think so,” someone replies.

“Okay. If you mess up four times in a row, you do a keg stand. Are we ready to start?”

“Uh…” The three people who have never played before look nervous.

“Don’t worry. You’ll pick it up. It really isn’t as hard as it sounds.”

“What about nicknames?” Someone who has played before asks.

"Or noonans?" Another chimes in.

“Let’s let them play a few rounds to get used to it,” a slightly more compassionate person suggests.

We split the newbies up. The game is more fun when the people who have never played before are sandwiched between experts. It makes it easier to gang up on them.

“Does everyone have a drink?” Nate asks. Everyone holds up a red cup; each is filled with something alcoholic. “Alright, let’s start. The name of the game is Zoom, Schwartz, Pafigliano, and Beederman. Zoom.” And we’re off.