All
freshmen are required to take Special Relativity during their first
semester at Mudd. It's taught pass/fail which takes some of the pressure
off. And really, the math is pretty simple. Just multiply all your
standard mechanics equations by gamma and you're good to go. The
difficulty lies in the concepts. Time slows down and space stretches
out. The only constant is the speed of light and it is always constant.
You cannot travel faster than the speed of light. Even if two rhinos
are charging at each other, both traveling 300,000,000 meters per
second, they will approach each other at 300,000,000 meters per second.
The math works out, but it takes a while to wrap your brain around.
Worse,
these new concepts lead to all sorts of ideas that seem to contradict
themselves. Half of our time is devoted to unraveling these paradoxes
and trying to make some sense out of them.
Professor
Emeritus technically retired last year. But he knows this subject so
well that he decided to continue teaching it. He guides us gently
through the many logical conundrums we encounter.
One
day, the entire freshman class is gathered in the lecture hall while
Professor Emeritus explains a particularly tricky paradox. As he
finishes showing us how the math manages to remain consistent no matter
which reference frame you're in, the hand of a student in the front row
shoots up.
The nasally voice begins, "Well, have you
considered...?" Clearly this kid thinks Special Relativity is as real as
Hogwarts. He is also under the impression that he's the smartest person
in the room. It was probably true in high school; most of the students
here were the top of their high school classes. A few have yet to
realize that this is no longer the case.
When the
student finishes poking holes in the paradox and disproving all of
relativity, he sits back haughtily. His profile belies his smugness, and
I just know there's a self-satisfied smirk on his face. He's sure he
has stumped the professor. For an instant, the class is silent,
wondering what will happen.
Then Professor Emeritus
throws his hands up in the air. The chalk he was holding goes flying.
"Oh my god," he deadpans, "I hadn't thought of that. My career is over!"
All
of the tension from a moment earlier is released as laughter. Professor
Emeritus proceeds to explain, quite kindly, why the know-it-all is
completely wrong. Meanwhile the know-it-all has been reminded that we're
here to learn, not show off.
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